Bitter

As a Military spouse for nearly the past 20 years, I have had plenty of opportunities to feel bitter towards my circumstances or the unexpected chaos the Army throws into our lives at any given moment.  But nothing compares to the bitterness I felt when my husband was deployed with only 24 hours’ notice when hurricane Katrina hit the New Orleans area. 

August 31st, 2005 is a day that I still remember vividly.  We had been watching the coverage from the hurricane for a few days, and as sad as it was to watch thousands of people hurting and losing their homes, the reality was that it was too far away to impact our lives.  As I sat on the sofa packing backpacks for 3 toddlers who would be starting preschool the next week, the call came down from command that my husband would be convoying out the very next day. 

I was instantly frustrated and angry, we had just finished our 3rddeployment in 4 years and we were still unpacking the boxes from moving back home.  We had plans to take a trip for Labor Day and the kids were starting their first day of school that very next week.  I started to complain about all of it. 

My poor husband, how he didn’t just run out the door and never look back I will never know, but for the next 10 weeks while he was deployed I complained to him every chance I could.  Every phone call home would be filled with my tears and complaints at how horrible life was in his absence.  Bitterness towards the Army, towards my husband being gone, and towards all the things that I had to do on my own had taken ahold of me.

Aren’t we just like this with God?  Things are going along great, there are no speed bumps in our path.  Then BAM! out of nowhere life smacks us with unexpected hurdles.  Our first response is to complain and cry over this new hardship in our lives.  Instead of leaning into God and putting our trust and faith in Him, we turn to Him and complain. 

In Numbers chapter 11, the Bible tells us about the Israelites wandering through the desert. It had been a few years since they had been rescued from the hands for Pharaoh, and they had been eating manna at every meal for quite some time.  They began to complain.  In verse 10 it says that the families would stand in the doorways of their tents and whine.  Now I don’t know about you but I like a little variety in my diet, a few years of the same meal every day and I would be complaining too!  

They whined and complained to Moses, begging him to feed them meat.  They even went as far as to say that things were better in Egypt, under slavery, because at least they had all the fish they could eat.  Can’t you just hear Moses?  “Those greedy, ungrateful Israelites.  I sacrifice everything, rescue them from slavery, and this is how they show their gratitude?”  Yet the complaining continued.  How do you think Moses handled the situation?  Yep, with more complaining.

Moses cried out to God, “Why are you treating me so harshly?” “What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people?” “Did I give birth to them? Why do I have to carry them in my arms like a mother carrying a nursing baby?”  Whine, whine, whine!  I am so thankful that we have a patient God, because if it were me I would have just thrown up my hands and said “Fine!  Go back to Egypt where everything was obviously so great!  Never mind the fact that you are FREE!”

But no matter how patient a God he is, there is a limit.  The Bible tells us “The Lord’s anger blazed against them”.  Despite blessing after blessing, bitterness and complaining had taken ahold of the Israelites.  

How often do we focus on what we don’t have?  The wants and desires of this world, instead of being grateful and thankful for the provisions that God has provided in our lives.  If God gave into our every whim, and gave us everything we asked for, would we really be happy?  I choose to serve a God who knows what is best for me, instead of wishing on a fairy godmother who fulfills every desire.

What things in your life are you craving?  Are you complaining that you don’t have enough money? Enough friends? A nice enough car?  If only I had this or that, life would be so much better.  Stop getting distracted by the things of this world.  Instead give thanks and gratitude for all the blessings that God has given you, and strive to be a good steward of the gifts and talents he has already blessed you with.

Prayer

Father, we are often ungrateful, greedy and unthankful for the many blessing that you have blessed our lives with.  We take good health, our homes, our families, and the food in our bellies for granted.  We often take the credit for the things in our lives, instead of thanking you for all that we have. 

Today God, we pray a prayer of thanksgiving and gratitude to you.  Thank you for this gift of life.  For the ability to love and be loved, and the opportunity to see the wonders of your creation.

We give thanks for those things in our life that are not what we would hope them to be.  That even when things are difficult or don’t seem fair, when our hearts ache and tears fall from our eyes, we will rejoice because you are near to us. 

We ask for forgiveness for the times when our ungrateful hearts have taken over and we have complained over what we think is lacking.

God we put our faith and trust in you to provide what is best for us in both the good and bad time.  Take from us our stubborn, ungrateful, greedy hearts and replace it with gratitude and thanksgiving for all of your many blessings.