Seen

I can feel you through your lonely eyes, and I hope one day you'll understand how everything that hurt us was everything that made us who we are. - R.M. Drake

Have you ever stood in a room full of people and feel completely alone and out of place? You look around and it seems like every person has someone to talk to, to connect with and you are on the outside looking in. The walls close in and you feel like everyone is looking at you and maybe even talking about you, or worse yet, maybe no one even notices that you are even there. You try to play it cool, you busy yourself with the nearest refreshments or quickly exit to the nearest bathroom drawing out the time it takes to wash your hands or fix your hair. As you exit you scan the crowd for just one familiar face, praying that they will at least acknowledge that you are there.

I can't even begin to count the number of times that this has been my story. The anxiety and fear of not being seen is a real thing. Now my husband, the guy who has never met a stranger, is reading this and is screaming "just go talk to someone, anyone!" while the sheer thought of talking to a stranger is terrifies to me. Put me in a room full of running, jumping, screaming 3-year-olds and that is my jam. I can play and be silly, and I can't wait to carry on a conversation sitting crossed-legged on the floor; but put me in a room full of adults, and I instantly want to run and hide.

If you are extroverted, I praise God for the gifts that he has given you. I pray every day that God would give me the gift of small talk and the desire to know all the people, but I just wasn't built that way.

I'm sure that we have all had a moment where we have felt unseen. But what about those times when it feels like God doesn't see us? When we pray and pray and get no answer? When things happen in our lives and we feel like God has completely turned his back on us? I know that I have experienced my share of these times. Even recently I have felt like every ounce of strength that I have to get through the day is supernatural, I have often feel like God doesn't see the struggles and hardships that I face.

Then I read the story of Hagar in Genesis, and everything changed.

If you are not familiar with this Bible story let me fill you in...Way back near the beginning there was a guy named Abraham (he's kind of a big deal, the father of Israel and all) and he and his wife Sarah were close to 90 years old. God told Abraham that he would be the father of many nations and that his decedents would be greater than all the stars in the sky. Well, I forgot to mention that Abraham and Sarah had no children. Zero. None. But God had made this promise. So Sarah, bless her 80 year old heart, thought that the only way that Abraham would have a son was for him to sleep with her servant Hagar. So Abraham agreed and he had a son with Hagar.

Fast-forward a few years, Abraham is 99 years old and once again he is told that he will have a son, but this time its with his 90 year old wife Sarah. The Bible says that when Sarah heard this she laughed. I bet she did, I would have laughed too...but she's not the focus of our story. Once Hagar became pregnant she became angry with Sarah and treated her with contempt. So Sarah began treating Hagar harshly, so harshly that Hagar ran away.

So lets hold up for just a minute. Can you imagine being in this entire situation? What a mess! But that is what happens when we rely on our own abilities instead of trusting in what God promises us. Instead of trusting his word we try to do it on our own.

Now back to the story: So here she is pregnant and alone. Hagar was wandering through the wilderness and the Angel of the Lord found her sitting by a spring. In Genesis 16:11 it says, "And the angel also said, “You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the LORD has heard your cry of distress."

This is pretty incredible to get confirmation that God hears, and if the story stopped here it would be a pretty great ending, but Hagar's response is the response that I want to have always. In verse 13 she responds, "She said, “You are the God who sees me.”"

From that time on when Hagar referred to God, she used the name el-roi which means "The God who sees me"

No matter where you are or what you are going through, God sees you. You might be in that crowded room feeling completely alone, but God sees you. When you are lying in bed crying in your pillow, God sees you. If you are on the edge, barely hanging on, God sees you.

You are not alone.

You. Are. Seen.

PRAYER:

God thank you for seeing us. In the moments when we feel completely alone, we can take heart knowing that you see us. In our moments of despair and distrust you are always there and we are never alone. God help us to find comfort and peace in your presence and help us to remember that you are "El-Roi" the God who sees us. - Amen.